My first session with my new therapist was amazing, to say the least. I really feel like I clicked with her, and I'm seriously looking forward to working with her.
She wants me to NOT focus on the food, which I'm perfectly fine with. She also wants me to start saying to myself, I do not have an eating disorder, I am not bulimic, I am a healthy, smart, beautiful woman.
That's SO hard for me to do, but I understand why she's having me do that. I seem to be the queen of self-fulfilling prophecies, so what I think and say usually ends up happening.
She gave me a book called "The Grief Recovery Handbook." It deals with grief over many issues, not just death, but grief over divorce, health, career, and faith. We'll start working on the book, with some worksheets and homework included.
She also does EMDR. It's honestly hard to explain what that is; but I had that kind of therapy when I went to Mirasol in 2004 and 2005, and had some amazing breakthroughs with it. I kind of mixes guided meditations, along with "tapping", which helps to focus your body and mind on what's going on. I always remember, I was always so surprised at what came up during my EDMR sessions at Mirasol. It was exhausting work, but VERY worthwhile.
I am extremely excited. She really wants me to start looking ahead, at a positive and fulfilling future with Mike, as opposed to the past, which is so easy to dwell on. She also has me keeping an eye on certain words and phrases that I use, making sure to keep them positive.
There's alot of work ahead, but after today, I FINALLY see the light at the end of the tunnel.
WOW!! I'm impressed with your therapist's approach. I especially like her idea of changing your self-talk. That certainly worked for me. I totally agree that your beliefs create what you see as your reality. That may not be your actual reality, but if you believe something is true, you will act accordingly. Have you ever read any Wayne Dyer books? His latest one is "Manifest Your Dreams", but he's talked about 'you will see it, when you believe it' (another one of his books, as well).
ReplyDeleteOh, and that light at the end of the tunnel ... is your triumphant, shining self. Keep focussing on how magnificent you really are.
I'm very impressed with her, too; both she and her daughter have had ED's in the past, and are both in recovery now, so it's definitely a plus.
ReplyDeleteI've never actually read any of Dyer's books; I've always been very skeptical of the "if you dream it, it will happen" concept.
But this time around, I'm going into it full force. I mean, what do I have to lose, honestly? :)
Actually everything you see is influenced by your beliefs. For example, a table is basically neutral or even meaningless without your beliefs and/or past experiences with that or other tables. Our beliefs give meaning to everything (and everyone) we encounter. Even our impressions of similarly appearing people or even beliefs about people in general influence what we think of a stranger.
ReplyDeleteIf our beliefs give meaning or significance to a table, consider how much more significance we can give to ourselves through our beliefs. Whatever we believed about ourselves in the past, we can change those beliefs and thereby change who were appear to be in our own minds and, by our actions, who were are to other people.
Oh, I definitely agree with that; I've always just had a problem making MYSELF believe that it does work that way.
ReplyDeleteI think I've been "burned" so many times when I've been completely positive in something, and then feel like a failure later, because it didn't happen how I wanted it to happen. (If that makes any sense. :)
Like I said, I'm willing to go full force with what she wants me to do while I'm working with her.
So do you agree that other people can change their actions by changing their beliefs, but you can't? How are you different? Also consider the benefits of staying the way you are (doing the same things) vs. the benefits of changing your beliefs, habits, actions. Maybe there are more benefits for staying the same...
ReplyDeleteI know I've always been deathly afraid of the unknown when it comes to my life and happiness. It's actually ironic, because I consider myself a real risk taker, willing to pretty much try everything at least once.
ReplyDeleteI like you asking how am I different? It really makes me think about that.
I love how you're always here to challenge me. :)
Oh, I also have one book by Dyer, called "Pulling Your Own Strings." Have you ever heard of that or read it?
ReplyDeleteI've heard of that book by Wayne Dyer, but I don't recall reading it. He really says the same things in most of his books, but adds a different twist or different stories with later books.
DeleteI'll definitely have to try reading it then.
ReplyDeleteThanks.